Stage Performance.. Woo hoo!!

And please do have a belated Merry Christmas!! Christmas will always be in our hearts, as long as we remember!! Thanks for following my blog from the beginning till today!

Comic Fiesta 2010.. It was a breeze...

We all love DOMO-KUN!!!

It felt like the event it ended too fast. I did get to see some friends, some I didn't get to recognize and many lost within the whole buzz of cosplayers and visitor throughout the 18th and 19th December. This time I had not much time to go in for the competition due to lack of some stuff in the costume, like my weapon not to mention there were things that kept not staying in it's place.. (my stupid bra strap kept showing > <) My competitor, Xajin Jian... Although we are always head to head joining competitions since last year, until I got dragged down by work.. And then back to cosplaying again when I finally had the chance to, I felt so old and stiff. Urgh.. too much normal life. Need to warm up again.. However, I met new friends and people in the event, a few of my twins (hehe) and loads of cosplayers who really really made me amaze and I feel like working harder to make mine better. The silent encouragement and fire burns me up!! Huurrrr!! Must make mine better ^ ^ Here are some pictures that I managed to get from people tagging me~ I love them all > <>

And here are some of me and my gang goofing off XD

Bored??

Hur hur hur... Playing sailors..

CAMWHORE!!!! HURRRR!!!

So far, these are all I can show here, since most of them are not mine and I can't put it all up here. So here are most of my photos taken throughout the event, and I wish I had more to spam the page. Hahaha!!

It's been 20 days and now I'm like a celebrity... LOL!

The many people who have seen me, added me on my homepage to be friends. It's nice to know new people and being friends with people who are in the same cosplay interest as me. And they think that I am a lot younger than them. LOL!! I'm not going to fool you but I am really really older than you guys!

Work is pleasantly smooth, gotten another freelance request.. and that means more money. Nyehehe... I've been having a good time with some new friends, scouting out for more materials I need.. It was never the end of a good moment when you are out with people you love to hang out the most. I get juniors asking me for help and I'm always glad to help them in anyway of advise I can over their projects, regular customers coming back for more in the place I work. (Oh yea, I'm working in a restaurant, and it's really really fun to be on the floor and getting to know people ^ ^) And also not to mention people who wanted to get more closer to me.. somehow. LOL! I'm so shy when it comes to these few things happening to me. It makes me happy, and no.. I'm not a celebrity > < Why would I be?

My love life... I can say although we are far apart and chatting was the only way we could be together, it was a little difficult when you want to have physical presence more than anything.. I definitely would want that when the time comes. How I actually know him would mean everyone giving me worried looks, awkward glances, and a 'Hey! You should know that you shouldn't have. Are you crazy??' Why? Because my current man is from the internet... Indeed, it is possible that the person on the other side of the computer may be someone old or ugly... And old fart?? But somehow, he has been really honest in words... so I still want to make sure that he is what he really who I really think he is... I sound confusing...

Farewell to the longing unrequited love I still have for someone.. who now has a girlfriend. I have always liked him, but.. If we never did happen I don't think I will ever get myself back up again. We used to fill each others life with love we never had and lost.. But since I was the first to step out, I somehow did regret a bit since he is now with a girl.. I wonder what he thinks though? I see him, and I do feel that that love he used to have for me no longer brims in his heart. Ah well, now that I am with someone who is far away, no doubt... I still feel loved as I come to know how he really really feels for me whenever we come online.. I feel so bad for making him worry when I was really really upset with him. So sorry, my darling > <

So now, let us move on while I try to finish that costume by mid December and please, please... Let my life be easier.. I wanna sleep~

And too readers, please do leave a message on what you think of my blog. This blog is actually a part of my life, and there may be more cosplayers out there all around the world.. But our lives are all very very different, agreed? If you like this, follow me... Take care!

It was a nice and sad birthday all together... Why??!

It was my birthday yesterday, the 4th November and my entire page was filled with 60 birthday wishes from all my friends from Cosplayers to college friends. Wow! This is the first time I'm actually getting these many birthday wishes from people I know and care about. Thanks guys! Although I didn't brag to people and normally I don't celebrate my birthday (Because I never did since no one does that for me besides my sis.. Sad T^T) so ah well. But it was the best birthday wish ever I've ever gotten ^ ^

But of all the people who is the most important to me who didn't at all wish me and forgotten about my birthday is my so called boyfriend. The hell....?? He's been so busy he literally forgot about my birthday, and being happy with someone else on the other end of the globe. However, I suppose it isn't going to last long.. I'm at the end of my wits now anyway to move on.. Sad, and some of my friends are kinda angry about it too. LOL!

But the saddest of all was two of the people I've known has left this world. I feel kind of sad and sorry for them. My friend's mom passed away peacefully, so did my uncle this morning when he was in his usual morning routines. I pray that their soul would be at peace, and to the people most important and close to me, please be happy always.. People will come and go, so we need to know when and how to say goodbye.. And I offer you my condolences...

However, it's a short birthday wish but yeah, I'm happy and this is the happiest birthday I've ever gotten in the entire 24 years of my life. Thanks guys!

You won't find me where you think I am..

It is true that many think I am still studying in college, or in secondary school due to my size and never getting old face of mine. Truthly speaking, I am and have been working as a supervisor in a restaurant called Papparich in Subang Jaya, SS15. Yeap, that's right... Which to many they think I'm kidding... Lol.

It's nice to use these special features to apply into cosplaying cute and young characters, or some young boy since I do look pretty young for my age.. and I'm close to 24 in a few days time too. But when so happen I would like to try out a very serious character like RO asassins, some very very angry character.. It doesn't seem to fit me well~ Augh! I don't know why. Although make up can make me look like the angriest person throughout the event, but it doesn't seem to fit well on me with the kiddie features. Haaa... Ah well, so some of the characters I've chosen out would need to match my height, face and... youngsterness in me.

Being Just The Valkyrie...

I've been using the name Valkyrie ever since I started to have a start on Cosplaying... and that was five years ago. Wow, I never realized how time really flies when you are having fun. First year of college and I went to my first event in Nilai, AnimeMega Blast.. Even the uniform someone lent me was... pulling off my age and height.. and my strangely never aging look. People took picture of me after that, and wanted to exchange emails, and more photos... I felt like a temporary celebrity, with the character's mask on. Lol! It was fun and I really enjoyed that moment when you can be who you have always idolized. I have always idolized FF characters like Rinoa. She was the beauty I have always loved to cosplay and the first ever game I've ever played on a computer. I watch my cousin played the game when I was 12, and you can see how old the game is now... 12 years old! As the character was introduced as a 17 year old rebellious princess, she would now be...29 years old.

Squall is also a character I really love to have as a partner. He looks good, doesn't he? It's only his props like the Lionheart that is kind of hard to make since it's a huge gunblade.. All thanks to the artist Tetsuya Nomura. He's one character designer that I would like to meet one day when I have the chance. When you see how innocent he is here in this picture, it kind of moves my heart. It's when you see one guy's heart melt when he sees you hurt is the case of heart melting, for the one he really really loves and cares. It's that touching how the game actually falls into place for both Rinoa and Squall. Even the story that almost had them apart due to what Rinoa has become and Squall almost died struck by Sorceress' Edea's Ice Strike. Well, it's a passionate love story and nice adventure all the same.

So however, I'm already 80% finished with Rinoa's costume, leaving me the boots to replace the one I mangled.. The chained necklace with it's intricate chain patterns, and the weapon?? I would love to have the weapon made, but wow. That would be a first challenge for me since it's my first weapon prop I am ever making in my entire cosplay life. I never did a weapon before!!

Well, let's keep ganbatte-ing and try to make our cosplay life more and more interesting, ne? Enjoy guys!

It's Holloween, and I love this event too!

It was the time again, and after 10 months of no cosplay or what so ever, I feel so rusty! It was a great time to get back into shape after being away from cosplaying for so long... 10 months of no cosplaying = rustiness from time.. But for sure, it was nice coming back into cosplaying again. I feel so rusty, getting used to the hang of it somehow. I really really love cosplaying as apart of my life.

So my early day started with waking up 6am in the morning to prepare bento for lunch. A healthy boil of green vege, omelet with cheese and sausages and rice layered with Nori sheets for the hell of it. I love nori!! So after that there goes the leg shaving process while I have a bath, and then the wait for my friend. The whole week of getting the Lenne's costume fixed was worth it. Thanks to mom I got the costume looking at its best (short skirt, sexy top.. who wouldn't want to wear such? Ehehehe..) And then the pain staking time to get the make up on. Thanks to Akimoto Yumi she helped me with the make up.. because I looked more garang than her for some strange reason..

The day at the event was really really nice and I really missed the feel, meeting my old friends there, especially friends from Facebook I've added them because they are really really good cosplayers. It was so good to meet them again, and I really really like meeting them. It made me feel a lot lighter at heart. I was in the competition, although there were technical problems from the start and no one was listening and wondered what was going on. Ah well, I will not be taken down by such a small problem. Thanks to so many I was on my feet again because I know they will be there for me when I need them the most. They were really really helping me out ^ ^

Here's Chris, and he was really really sweet ^ ^

And here's Asyraff (Sorry! I forgot how to spell your name ><)

At the same time, there were times when people who I've made pact with some time ago have gave me the nostalgia to remember those moments I would like to remember sometimes. I wish to be held again, to be given such an attention that it left me tingling for more. I like those feelings ^ ^ I have been shown better than love when your heart is broken from a now forgotten love. I was in healing that time when Xajin helped me out of it with his funny and heart loving way as a friend. He was the one that touched my heart, and I shan't forget ^ ^ He has his life now, as we have went our own ways. Mine is in a distant way but the way I've been reached through small little things that makes me smile again, I shan't go astray and will cherish it as long as I can. If it's not for real, I will have to move on.. I still do like him, in an unrequited way but we both had a line so, haiz... Ah well, life goes on as it is and please let my prayer be something that keeps him happy all the time and let not who he has his heart for now won't be broken. Please be happy, nyaa!

It was also so good to meet Marina and the rest of the gang and maybe next year I will have my Shuyin! Yay!
I've been wanting a Shuyin for so long, or a Tidus to go along with my Yuna T^T I never had a partner... And not to mention a good looking one to make people jealous or envy me ^ ^ I love making people envy me, so har har har. It's just a selfish self content..Who wouldn't want a good looking partner, right? Girl or guy, every character has it's companion. I wish to have my companion who looks good ^ ^ I really really do!

And at the end part of it, I had to leave due to fatigue... And of course, I will want to do this again till the end of my days. I have been feeling that my days are shortening... And I wonder why. I've felt what death was like through a dream, and true enough someone really died.. And this time it was in me that I felt it over and over again.. I wonder, will it all end early for me? Hmm...

思い出.. あなたはそれらを覚えていますか？

Sweetest memories in your life is hard to remember because it eases makes you feel happy in one part of your heart... But when it has made an impact on you, it will always be remembered no matter what you do and back fires as a nightmare. I always tend to have that a lot m0re than remembering my best days...

This was my first photo shoot I have ever taken in my life, besides the one in college I had to take with a friend for my assignments... Lolness! Was suppose to continue for my Lenne photoshoot, but we ended up all so tired with mozzie bites, we had enough...
Here's the album of the entire photoshoot I took!

I also slowly remember having to go out with friends I love hanging out with all the time. Places I have never been further than the shopping malls I normally go to, not because of transportation issues, and being too far away from home (I would go if I like to... ), it's the matter if remembering how to get in, around and out of that place is what matters me the most. I've no proper sense of direction at all... A lousy GPS I tell you...

There are times you will ask, when in the world I took this again? Where did we go to take this picture? What was the shop we ate in when we took this picture? So many questions, until the place we went to disappears.. I hate that when that happens T^T Makes you feel like something has began to disappear in your life. I will always have that feeling when something goes missing, and it's worse than getting amnesia...

I seem to forget a lot and a lot of things lately.. Hmm.... Due to over working myself to the max? Trying to remember but it's actually kinda hard when you try. Headdesking doesn't help but bruises and a skinned forehead, staring into space and something from the ceiling falls onto your face or worse... But in dreams it will somehow eventually come to you.

But one thing for sure, when I got sick with a terrible pain in the chest, everything will come back to me as clear as the day. It's as if with the snap of a finger and it will remind you... It's weird but that seem to happen to me all the time, especially when I'm down with terrible fevers and low blood pressure attacks.

And recently I've been hearing a lot of deaths happening around me. Some due to being sick, some dying in accidents, and people who are dear to me and dear to them dying. What's worse when I read about ghost stories, or watch ghost adventures online and stupidly in the middle of the night, I tend to be so sad and cry over it. Being mysteriously emotional over its history... I wonder why myself sometimes.. Hmm...

However, hopefully writing these all out would keep me reminded all the time. I seem to fail in remembering the sweetest times and people in life.. I hope it's not a sickness...

When it's the time when you feel you need more to life...

At times when I see people getting together while I'm on the lousy side of being in love, I wonder... Will it be possible to fall in love again and feeling happy heal this illness? I have always tried to run and yearn to be loved again.

My love life started when I was just 21. How I met my first man was funny and yet it was once a one sided love. Slowly but surely, being where I have always were in the past has made him take another step to come closer and into my life. Eventually, we got together and a lot of stress came into it when I told my family that I am now in love with someone. It was the biggest mistake to tell the people I trust the most, like my sister, and I am still angry about it till now.

Trying to work it out was also another difficult process, I gave up trusting my family. The place I've always seek for comfort wasn't where I wanted to be. I almost gave up on being together after 1 year but he's been telling me not to give up since it's the two of them, not him and the others.. and half a year later I got dumped quietly. All the while in silence when I've been waiting for him and sending him messages to know how he is, if he's okay.. After half a year, all I'm told with just one word.. I think it's better I find someone else. It broke me down, I gave up on loving him.. I gave up on loving myself...

Another year passed when I've gotten myself into a job I love, and having illustration as my freelance, I've learned many things what my boss has seen, more than I did. I find it funny and yet happy to have a boss who really cares and teaches me on how to look into guys who are more worth chasing after. My mom and I slowly mended together, although I still always find it annoying when she cuts in while people is talking. I always have to tell her off, and point out her weakness all the time... And now, she's the closest and sometimes the dimmest when it comes to telling her some things..

Anyhow, I have gotten over him, and then he came back... Hoping to get back to me. I wonder why did you hurt me the last time? If you had to leave, leave me be... So I had to turn him down with a reason I can't and I don't have those feelings I used to for him anymore. So, that was the last of him.. And he had to leave for his hometown due to his parents. I'm a little down, when he had to go.. I wonder where did his stubbornness to love me for life went? He gave up.. And I moved on..

There are times when I still yearn for him, and I wish I never fell in love at all. But like my boss told me, we are worth if we are honest to our hearts and others. We have our beauty, and someone will find that beauty again, and the more we see, the more we are sure of what we are looking for in someone..

Pray one day, our hearts will heal in time..

OMG... It's been so long since I last posted in my blog...

Work had me on my toes, at the end of my day it would be flat out on my bed. Tired out! Working six days a week, although just 9 hours a day and it sounds dreadful. However, time really really flies when you're having fun and then you find that there isn't much time for everything... Sad...

However, love life has been good and I feel much loved for the first time. My lover boy has been really supportive although he's been very hacked up with his side of the world. He's been extremely busy, busier than me somehow.. I hope he's alright... So, I'm pushing myself to go further and show everyone what I'm capable off. 私が生命に何かをもっと有するのに、ちょうど何かが私が達成したいと思う多くある。 私は私の強さにビットを自慢して見せたいと思う。(即使我更有某事到生活，有正义的某事我想要达到的更多。 我想要炫耀我的力量位.)

Take a little time to lean back and relax, and then everything will come back to you in a short while. It happens when you have too many things in your head. I always had that kind of problem and I end up headaches or at the end of the day.. a bit zombified from work. I was also sick for a horrible four days, and really really sick I was. I had my gastric to react to my stress (and no thanks to the sour and spicy food I've been fed every day at work...) and low blood pressure. What caused my low blood pressure when there isn't any connection between the two?? Hmm....

Now that I get to move around more often after work, although I am always tired off... I always like to travel a little further to get my shopping or just a little sight seeing, and at the same time get my body fueled up with loads of sugar. I've been feeling faint lately, and that's not good... Why? My Japanese dream land Daiso is now in a place closer to me! I don't have to rely on my friends to go all the way which would cost me two buses and a train to get there anymore. Yay! I've bought my all time favourite relaxing component, incense.. They always make my nerves a little more relaxed.

However, there are many more things in life to enjoy. 単純な方法の十分に人生を楽しむために確かめなさい。 それはことができる、またはそれ皆が言うことを行くところに行くことはあなたの幸福のピークである何を得る多くをより必要としない。

それはあなたの友人とあるかどうか限り、非常に家族または家族… それ最もよいのあなたの日の作るためにおよびそれに幸せな終り。常にであることを確かめなさい。 心配の人を取りなさい!
그것은 당신의 친구와 다는 것을 한, 아주 가족 또는 가족… 당신이 그것 최상을 당신의 일의 만들기 위하여 및 그것에게 항상 행복한 결말일 것이라는 점을 확인하십시오. 포획 배려 녀석!
As long as whether it's with your friends, very loved ones or family... Make sure you make it the best of your day and it will always be a happy ending.. Take care guys!

When Love In Your Heart Overflows...

I wasn't able to sleep and it bugged me even terribly when this stupid poetry forced me to get up from bed to write it all out... I guess it's the Hazelnut coffee that I took for dinner decided to make a pact with my head to kick me out of bed.. Yawn!!

Une interminable histoire d'amour, je n'est jamais rompre votre coeur
(An Endless Love Story, I Shall Never Break Your Heart)

From the first sight I've lain my eyes on yours,
I wonder why it would never fade,
Everywhere I turn, your image will always appear before mine,
May it be in the dark and in the light...

However torturous it may be, I can't make myself run,
Those gentle caresses, the soft kisses I'm addicted to,
Will it be enough?
I don't know but I need it more than the air I breathe...

I let my pride step aside for your hands to hold me closer,
Just a little longer to feel you next to me,
But I have the strange wall between us,
Do I love you? Can I love you? I can't say until you tell me...

You have been real kind to me when I needed comfort,
Your silver wings always stayed in a gentle embrace,
With much kindness they'll never break me,
I long to stay, even if it's just a little while...

Can I not hear your voice again?
Will my voice reach you when I call you?
I long to reach out to hold your hand once more,
Because I can't live without you...

Time flies like petals in the wind, I may disappear along with them,
I swear to sing the last melody from my heart,
To let you know how much you meant to me,
When I disappear, I hope you'll cherish our memories...

But as I move on, I may have another pair of wings to blanket me after yours,
May it be mine or a new found love, I can't tell in time,
However cruel it may slay our hearts with jealousy, I will come back,
When the truth surfaces from our feelings...

As long as it remains between us, I'll cherish this moment,
Keeping it safely within my embrace from the darkest moment of it,
I shall never forget the kindness you have guided me through to be stronger,
Because of you I can sing a new melody...

(After that I decided to have it translated to French just to make it more interesting... Tee hehehehe..)

De la première vue je\ai lain mes yeux sur le vôtre,
je me demande pourquoi il ne serait jamais fade,
partout où je leur tour, votre image apparaîtra toujours avant moi,
qu'il peut être à l'obscurité et à la lumière...

Toutefois tortueuse qu'il peut être, je peux\'t me faire exécuter,
ces caresses, le soft baise I\suis passion, qu'il sera assez?
J'ai don\'t savoir, mais j'ai besoin plus que l'air je respire...

J'ai laissé ma fierté démissionner pour vos mains de me tenir plus étroite,
juste un peu plus de se sentir vous suivant pour moi,
mais j'ai l'étrange mur entre nous,
puis-je vous aime? Puis-je vous aime? Je peux\'t dire tant que vous me dites...

Vous avez été véritable genre à moi quand j'avais besoin confort,
vos ailes d'argent toujours restés dans un doux embrassent,
avec beaucoup bonté qu'ils\«ll jamais rompre moi, j'ai longtemps à rester,
même si elle\'s juste un peu de temps...

Puis-je pas entendu votre voix encore une fois?
Est ce que ma voix à vous joindre quand j'appelle vous?
J'ai longtemps d'atteindre maintenez votre part une fois de plus,
parce que je peux\'t vivre sans vous...

Le temps vole comme pétales dans le vent,
je risque de disparaître avec eux,
je jure de chanter la dernière mélodie de mon coeur,
pour que vous sachiez combien vous signifie pour moi,
quand je disparaissent, j'espère que vous\«ll chérir notre mémoire...

Mais en tant que je propose,
j'ai peut-être une autre paire d'ailes pour recouvrir moi après vôtre,
qu'il peut être mine ou une nouvelle trouvé amour,
je peux\'t dire dans le temps,
toutefois cruel qu'il peut mourir nos coeurs de jalousie, je vais revenir,
quand la vérité surfaces de nos sentiments...

Tant qu'elle reste entre nous, j'ai\«ll chérir ce moment,
de le garder sécuritaire au sein de mon embrasser de la plus sombre,
je n'oublierai jamais la bonté que vous avez m'a guidée par le biais d'être plus forte,
parce que je peut chanter une nouvelle mélodie...

Tempest_Shadow of all Cards

Here's more to the collections! (rather like too bored of life and have nothing better to do...

Under a certain request, I thought it'd be a nice idea...

And there is also "The moon" in the collection... I tried blending and all, and then making more bright shades to make the whole thing somewhat a little mystical and yet vampire like with the whole light thingy...

While doing this I listened to a few songs that helped me bring out the mood and all... It helps when you are almost running out of ideas how to make the whole thing better ... Lo lalala... (I sound like an idiot here... OMG...)

I felt very unhappy with the first edit of the second tempest card I did, so with much frustration I decided to throw it aside and make a new one. How can I not when a fussy illustrator like me can "tahan" with such a terribly done art work? Solution := Redo!

(Tahan = To endure in Malay... So what I meant in my own words would mean to endure such annoying and pain in the eye terrible work?)

So the only way to make the whole thing better was to change the colour scheme and use pictures I can find for the bg to match the whole theme.

Eventually after much pain of looking for a better picture and the background, with much pencil works (while I download some songs that I miss listening to for so long... XP) I finally came up with this work and I am now so happy I could cry!!!

This is what I came up with with some notes to take care of while I looked at the pictures I chose for the main subject...

Theme : Tarot card 13 = Death = Fire? Something dark... Forest? Dark chocolate...?!!
Looked at Hades from Disney's Hercules = His blue flamed head...?!! (Ufffufufu)
Red + fire + dark theme = Death 13~~
(Yes... My mind was in a mess when I thought of this silly mind messing into a pulp formula... Tension...)

Finally now that the work is done and I have put my brain to rest for the night, I can finally sleep... ZzzZzZzZzzzzz.....

(And before the artist could turn off her computer, she notices the picture she just posted up her blog is a lot more contrasting than her header picture. With a silent grumble, she decides to turn the computer off and head for bed... (Ominous laughter indeed) XP)

Tempest of all cards

I wanted to try out and old assignment, photo montage or photo manipulation.. It's a bit on the sucky side, but what the heck. It's just a try out and maybe I can use this method to apply into other Tempest Cards I might do later...

It was hell of a lot of work, but the outcome is somewhat... Wild...?! It's rather very rich and dreamlike...

I compared to a few fairy tale type of pics, somewhere between glowy and rich, and I think I managed that in some way. What do you think?

Will try to do more and submit.. And this is just the beginning...

This poor picture here is the exact original.. It's dark, it's gloomy, my hair's a mess, the back ground was a horrible mixture of wall and door... and paper in the corner of the pic?! So after much photo mangling and pasting, more surgery to the face and stuff, the picture becomes like the above!

So, what do you think?

千単語、千の感情 (A thousand words, a thousand emotions...)

When I have the time to write, I will always be writing instead of drawing, and that's when I will kick myself to draw... especially when I so need to finish my assignments. Anyhow, I dunno if it would be nice to have lots of written stuff to be posted here. (because I have not much pics+illustrations to be posted online...)

These were emotionally written when I was really down and seeking for a new life. Gotten most of my ideas when I was really emotionally moved from songs, walks of life, searing new memories as old ones either fade away or remains.. Yes, those were the times I will always remember in such a way I can't express.

So, writing is good!

Everlast

The scene we once were two,
The evergreen scenery that will always make me cry,
Is this where it has seared into my memory,
To never let you go?

We met, laughed, cried and held on fast,
Like we were always meant to be,
Somewhere deep inside it is always warm,
The magic that made forever summer in the flow of time.

Chrono crossed in a breath,
The pain when memories are so sweet,
The silent tears I wonder why,
The cold presence of you were never whole in me.

Going along in time, I have never forgotten,
Linked to my soul and memory,
The sight I'm only one and teary,
I wish you could dry my tears.

Turning back to the moment when you are here with me,
Is only like a dream, I wish it came true,
To hear you call my name once again,
I need you far too much, I longed to feel your touch...

In the dream, you are so dear to me,
I wish I could see you again, I wish it never ends,
But when you turn your back on me,
I can't find the words to say my last goodbye.

But now, I only have memories of you,
All coloured in my heart, all warm and quite,
Your love to me all innocent, beautiful and pure,
You've always been so dear to me...

Voice of Mist

In the darkness, black is all I face,
However opened my eyes are, I see darkness,
Only touch and smell whenever you are around,
And your voice ever so clear to my heart.

However the darkness chokes, I hear your voice,
Like the faint drop of water hitting the surface, I hear you,
So, please don't stop calling my name,
Because I want to hear your voice all the time.

You've told me many things that I shan't forget,
You've sang songs that cheers me on and on,
You've never made my days lonely neither depressing,
You've always made me the happiest in my brightest.

Like the pouring rain, it tells me many stories,
Where has it gone before it came to pour its stories,
I like the rain, always washing away the bitter pain in my heart,
I like the rain, as how I see it in you.

Your warm hands and long fingers on my face,
Your warm breath whenever you are near to speak,
Even your smell of cheddar, sandal wood and lavender,
These reminds me of you whenever you are here with me.

Through the darkness, I can only see you whenever we touch,
You have shown me the many faces of you through your voice,
I don't feel that I am blind and hopeless,
Because you have taught me how to see colours through the darkness.

If ever darkness holds me within, I want to hold your hand,
Please bring me through to the real colours of life,
The emotions you've moved me with your voice through the mist,
May it be you and you alone, as long as I breathe...

Somewhere Here

Somewhere here close to me,
I feel you breathing,
Somewhere here closer to me,
I feel your warm heart beats,
It is somewhere here I feel your comfort...

Somewhere there I see you in front of me,
No matter where I am you'll be there,
Somewhere here I'll wait for you,
I'll be waiting till the story ends...

Time and space opens the distance between us,
Emotions and absence is pain in my heart,
But somewhere here is where I belong,
Somewhere you'll return to me,
Somewhere I will remain waiting...

Forever here with you is where I wanna be,
Wanna remain close to you where it will always be warm,
Wanna be there with you where I need you the most,
Wanna be there where you'll always need me,
I want to be here where you'll always hold me...

That somewhere I'd rather belong,
That someplace that will always be waiting for me,
Where I want to be within your embrace of white wings,
Where I want to feel your warm kindness and love...

Somewhere here, you'll always call my name,
Somewhere here... I'll always love you.

Sanctuary

Whenever a song is sang, there's you to weave them,
As I listen and let my mind drift with ecstasy, I have grown with your kindness,
Let alone those eyes those eyes that never told me lies,
I will one day die with the love and kindness you've shown me,
Returning to the sanctuary cradling me warmly.

When I first embraced, it was you withing me,
When I last embraced, it was your warmth that lingers within me,
That warmth I never fail to recognize through the dark never left me,
For it is where I belonged,
The place that I call my Sanctuary.

No matter how vast and many things surrounding me,
Wether it's gold or silver, it'll never be the same,
The warmth and kindness is never the same and alive,
For the greed I hold is only to one and one alone,
That one treasure holding me through time.

Thus when I shall disappear, forgotten that I ever existed,
Erasing all the traces I left behind, the essence of my very existence,
The memory we have built together will also die along like a mist,
Disappearing when a new day comes along with heaven's light,
Let you go on without a memory of me.

Whenever I think of you though I am no longer here,
Existence denied by the flow of time,
I will think of you and cradle our memory within my breast,
Reminding me every second that never seems to fly,
A sanctuary that will always be with me in my memory.

Be My Last

Wishes, dreams and hopes weaved within a song,
Where the wind would take them in a whisper till it's heard...
Will they ever be heard?
Who will come and sing the same song?

When you will find me,
I will be waiting here for you,
Wondering... will you come to me?
I want to know for the hope that seems so impossible...

The dreams I yet to share are the sweetest,
The songs I yet to sing are the rarest,
The prayers I yet to weave from the heart are the purest,
The memories I yet to envelope are the dearest...

Hoping for the prince who will come,
Shattering the agony hardened within,
Having the slow enveloping pain from deepening its wounds,
Slipping through the brink of emptiness within to be with me...

When you come and I see that pair of the kindest wings,
I know, you have come to save me,
When you come with me within your embrace,
I want to be your only one...

I hope I would be your first, your only one,
I hope you will be my last...

Silvery Touch

Listening to the voice in hums of a song,
It was like the angel was singing for me,
The words weaved to make a meaning so strong and long,
It meant so much whenever heard...

Falling petals like feathers from the angel's wings,
Gently rocking in the whispers as it touches the floor beneath,
I feel like within the embrace as it sings the song I love,
Only for me, the most treasured gift...

'Koe' belong to the the only one I listen to,
'Anata' was the only one who sees through me,
'Yume' were stories 'hito' weaved when I closed my eyes,
'Demo, anata no yume ha' I turn to when I'm lost...

It was a time I thrive through a stream very foreign to me,
Hoping that my words will never be heard by anyone,
Yet it will always reach me before I could disappear,
The love that will never let me go into a battle alone...

No matter how I have put myself into awakenings,
There was always something pulling me down,
It was what makes me stronger when the worst falls,
When it cannot be mended with the turn of time...

All I have gone through changes what I am made of,
Wearing the mask that never puts me alive on the stage,
No matter what mask I wear, there is only one,
The old one that will always fit me...

Somehow, the mask I wear has fallen and worn,
Going through severe time and suffering I never meant to cause,
It was never wanted to be used with the other masks,
No matter how I mend and polish it...

I am myself, I know, I am trying to mend and heal,
From the times of bruises and wounds I let my innocence through,
I never wanted any other wings than my own to fly,
Somehow, it was there when I was taken to touch the cerulean skies,

From the dream my eyes sees through the transparent illusion,
Awakening to the true colours and flavour of life,
There was nothing as pleasant yet delicious at first sight,
But who am I to share these appetizing taste of life?

The silvery touch is all that holds within my grasp,
The hands that will always be there when I need the most,
The silvery wings that came with it,
The illusion I always found embedded within the love I will always cherish...

And then I found more shots of myself on stage while I was updating this blog... More pics from CF 2009... Nice but aiyo... T__T I can't look at myself!!

Yeaps, this is a better photo of me on stage while I was singing... And I was really trying not to shiver in my voice so I sounded very emotional... Darn naggit! Thanks to my friend who gave me this link I'm pretty happy that I found more of me. Tee hee!!

Let the flirting begin!! I hope your nose won't bleed... He loves it so much...

A new year, a new day...

Hello everyone!! This is the first time I am putting myself in a blog so I hope that everyone will be able to enjoy what I can share with you. I may not be able to post much (please forgive me!!!!) but I hope all that I post will be enjoyable!!!

These illustrations here were one of my works when I was still in college, and back then I was so gungho into the finishing I forgot ablout my health... Oops, sorry. At the end result, the sweat and blood were all paid off... So glad...

Feel free to view more... Click here!

~~COMIC FIESTA 2009~~

Comic Fiesta 2009 was a hit and I enjoyed the whole thing very very much. For the first time I went on a competition because I felt I am finally ready to compete, but unfortunately I lost in the first battle. I guess I wasn't ready enough to be on stage. Hey! This is the beginning so keep trying and work harder! And work harder I will!!!

Here is a few shots I found myself online. No doubt it's a bit dark due to the not so good lighting in the hall, I am pretty satisfied when they mention how good it was. (not to complement myself but I've read a few who nice comments they had about me on stage. Thanks a bunch on the comment and I will work harder to present myself!!)

This is when I was singing without a music bg and I was pretty embarrassed at first.

1. I was cold on stage and so to calm my nerves I sang a very emotional song to suite the state I was in and to hide my nervousness at the same time. I was really embarrassed!!!
2. I had a million pair of eyes on me, and thanks to my new found friend who also competed on stage comforted and warmed me up before the competition started. So nice! I got many people jealous at the same time :p I really had no idea!
3. When it came to the time I helped out one of my friends on stage as prop people (sorry!!! I stated this very wrongly... A million apology!!) I made some of the competitor wide eyed and I became redder than a tomato. Thanks to the Bleach competitor on the side actually gave me some nice praises that I was really sexy and seductive on stage. Wuaa!!!

This is the Rikku cosplayer I met on the first day and she was so nice! She even invited me to join her group cosplayer. I really felt honored because she gave me some real nice encouragement to cosplay with her in a group. When we were talking to each other, no one stopped taking pictures of us but the I felt really happy about it. Thus the excitement brews...

When I was browsing through Youtube some time back to see the videos they shot on stage, I found the few where I became a sexy seductress on stage. I became super red as I watched on and on!

Here are a few blogs that I felt that they were really nice as well (No doubt I don't really know who they really are but thanks for the pix and post!)

http://existence-proof.blogspot.com/2009/12/comic-fiesta-2009.html
http://shadowxajin.blogspot.com/2009/12/comic-fiesta-2009-competitors.html

Some time back I did this for a client of mine using only Adobe Illustrator CS3 and shits! I didn't expect my works to be so enjoyed by my client. The ideas with sweat and blood I poured into the works really paid off.

My client is a Mac user and he wanted me to create a battery icon for him and shot animate the picture from 100% to 0% flat. It was kind of difficult at first when you're not so sure what kind of file format you'll need to use, and knowing pixels so well they won't stay put when you layer it over to animate the whole thing together!!! The madness of using programs and saving them into proper formats for its proper usage. Ugh... Pain.. pain...

So, what do you think? This is how much I did and slicing it all wasn't very easy. I had to adjust each and every pic so that it'll stay put in its frame and using a diff save file format. Yes, saving each and every file in its respective format can help a lot, trust me! I do this all the time in my entire life in college from first hand experience... Voila! I also did my header for this blog... Well, I do love french phrases that makes me more mysterious in a way. Even my boss from my work place helped me out a lot when it came to lovely lovely phrases with good meanings. (But I lost it and shit! She's so going to kill me when she finds out... Oh crap...) Since I was thinking of some names for some good titles while enjoying my music collection, I made these few headers. At first it started off with only one, and then I made. Enjoyed myself there... until my prog hung. Using too much memory can be a pain sometimes...

I got pretty gungho about this work...

Another one of my favorite portraits using airbrush and pastel pencils
This is only with markers, believe?


I love FF VIII



Digitally drawn with only Photoshop CS3
Original...


And this is done with acrylic paint...

And this is me during my college days, all thin and too light everyone loved carrying me around, even one of them who's a girl! She's a real good friend who really accompanied me during the event because I was pretty lost while lurking around the hall alone...

I used this uniform for a skit in college during a certain presentation. Wow, the amount of stalking photographers after that...

My plans for the next cosplay would be a a pairing... That will mean I will need lots of guts to do it because we plan to compete.. Gulp!! If I still stick with me recent Lenne costume and get the Yuna songstress' hair, extension, microphone (not to forget the shoe too!! I almost trip in my current one!!!) I'll try to do this...

Oh well... Hopefully I can update more on the gallery and stuff. Check me up and do drop me a reply if you'd like! Tata! I'm sorry this is very short too... X(