You won't find me where you think I am..

It is true that many think I am still studying in college, or in secondary school due to my size and never getting old face of mine. Truthly speaking, I am and have been working as a supervisor in a restaurant called Papparich in Subang Jaya, SS15. Yeap, that's right... Which to many they think I'm kidding... Lol.

It's nice to use these special features to apply into cosplaying cute and young characters, or some young boy since I do look pretty young for my age.. and I'm close to 24 in a few days time too. But when so happen I would like to try out a very serious character like RO asassins, some very very angry character.. It doesn't seem to fit me well~ Augh! I don't know why. Although make up can make me look like the angriest person throughout the event, but it doesn't seem to fit well on me with the kiddie features. Haaa... Ah well, so some of the characters I've chosen out would need to match my height, face and... youngsterness in me.

Being Just The Valkyrie...

I've been using the name Valkyrie ever since I started to have a start on Cosplaying... and that was five years ago. Wow, I never realized how time really flies when you are having fun. First year of college and I went to my first event in Nilai, AnimeMega Blast.. Even the uniform someone lent me was... pulling off my age and height.. and my strangely never aging look. People took picture of me after that, and wanted to exchange emails, and more photos... I felt like a temporary celebrity, with the character's mask on. Lol! It was fun and I really enjoyed that moment when you can be who you have always idolized. I have always idolized FF characters like Rinoa. She was the beauty I have always loved to cosplay and the first ever game I've ever played on a computer. I watch my cousin played the game when I was 12, and you can see how old the game is now... 12 years old! As the character was introduced as a 17 year old rebellious princess, she would now be...29 years old.

Squall is also a character I really love to have as a partner. He looks good, doesn't he? It's only his props like the Lionheart that is kind of hard to make since it's a huge gunblade.. All thanks to the artist Tetsuya Nomura. He's one character designer that I would like to meet one day when I have the chance. When you see how innocent he is here in this picture, it kind of moves my heart. It's when you see one guy's heart melt when he sees you hurt is the case of heart melting, for the one he really really loves and cares. It's that touching how the game actually falls into place for both Rinoa and Squall. Even the story that almost had them apart due to what Rinoa has become and Squall almost died struck by Sorceress' Edea's Ice Strike. Well, it's a passionate love story and nice adventure all the same.

So however, I'm already 80% finished with Rinoa's costume, leaving me the boots to replace the one I mangled.. The chained necklace with it's intricate chain patterns, and the weapon?? I would love to have the weapon made, but wow. That would be a first challenge for me since it's my first weapon prop I am ever making in my entire cosplay life. I never did a weapon before!!

Well, let's keep ganbatte-ing and try to make our cosplay life more and more interesting, ne? Enjoy guys!

It's Holloween, and I love this event too!

It was the time again, and after 10 months of no cosplay or what so ever, I feel so rusty! It was a great time to get back into shape after being away from cosplaying for so long... 10 months of no cosplaying = rustiness from time.. But for sure, it was nice coming back into cosplaying again. I feel so rusty, getting used to the hang of it somehow. I really really love cosplaying as apart of my life.

So my early day started with waking up 6am in the morning to prepare bento for lunch. A healthy boil of green vege, omelet with cheese and sausages and rice layered with Nori sheets for the hell of it. I love nori!! So after that there goes the leg shaving process while I have a bath, and then the wait for my friend. The whole week of getting the Lenne's costume fixed was worth it. Thanks to mom I got the costume looking at its best (short skirt, sexy top.. who wouldn't want to wear such? Ehehehe..) And then the pain staking time to get the make up on. Thanks to Akimoto Yumi she helped me with the make up.. because I looked more garang than her for some strange reason..

The day at the event was really really nice and I really missed the feel, meeting my old friends there, especially friends from Facebook I've added them because they are really really good cosplayers. It was so good to meet them again, and I really really like meeting them. It made me feel a lot lighter at heart. I was in the competition, although there were technical problems from the start and no one was listening and wondered what was going on. Ah well, I will not be taken down by such a small problem. Thanks to so many I was on my feet again because I know they will be there for me when I need them the most. They were really really helping me out ^ ^

Here's Chris, and he was really really sweet ^ ^

And here's Asyraff (Sorry! I forgot how to spell your name ><)

At the same time, there were times when people who I've made pact with some time ago have gave me the nostalgia to remember those moments I would like to remember sometimes. I wish to be held again, to be given such an attention that it left me tingling for more. I like those feelings ^ ^ I have been shown better than love when your heart is broken from a now forgotten love. I was in healing that time when Xajin helped me out of it with his funny and heart loving way as a friend. He was the one that touched my heart, and I shan't forget ^ ^ He has his life now, as we have went our own ways. Mine is in a distant way but the way I've been reached through small little things that makes me smile again, I shan't go astray and will cherish it as long as I can. If it's not for real, I will have to move on.. I still do like him, in an unrequited way but we both had a line so, haiz... Ah well, life goes on as it is and please let my prayer be something that keeps him happy all the time and let not who he has his heart for now won't be broken. Please be happy, nyaa!

It was also so good to meet Marina and the rest of the gang and maybe next year I will have my Shuyin! Yay!
I've been wanting a Shuyin for so long, or a Tidus to go along with my Yuna T^T I never had a partner... And not to mention a good looking one to make people jealous or envy me ^ ^ I love making people envy me, so har har har. It's just a selfish self content..Who wouldn't want a good looking partner, right? Girl or guy, every character has it's companion. I wish to have my companion who looks good ^ ^ I really really do!

And at the end part of it, I had to leave due to fatigue... And of course, I will want to do this again till the end of my days. I have been feeling that my days are shortening... And I wonder why. I've felt what death was like through a dream, and true enough someone really died.. And this time it was in me that I felt it over and over again.. I wonder, will it all end early for me? Hmm...

思い出.. あなたはそれらを覚えていますか？

Sweetest memories in your life is hard to remember because it eases makes you feel happy in one part of your heart... But when it has made an impact on you, it will always be remembered no matter what you do and back fires as a nightmare. I always tend to have that a lot m0re than remembering my best days...

This was my first photo shoot I have ever taken in my life, besides the one in college I had to take with a friend for my assignments... Lolness! Was suppose to continue for my Lenne photoshoot, but we ended up all so tired with mozzie bites, we had enough...
Here's the album of the entire photoshoot I took!

I also slowly remember having to go out with friends I love hanging out with all the time. Places I have never been further than the shopping malls I normally go to, not because of transportation issues, and being too far away from home (I would go if I like to... ), it's the matter if remembering how to get in, around and out of that place is what matters me the most. I've no proper sense of direction at all... A lousy GPS I tell you...

There are times you will ask, when in the world I took this again? Where did we go to take this picture? What was the shop we ate in when we took this picture? So many questions, until the place we went to disappears.. I hate that when that happens T^T Makes you feel like something has began to disappear in your life. I will always have that feeling when something goes missing, and it's worse than getting amnesia...

I seem to forget a lot and a lot of things lately.. Hmm.... Due to over working myself to the max? Trying to remember but it's actually kinda hard when you try. Headdesking doesn't help but bruises and a skinned forehead, staring into space and something from the ceiling falls onto your face or worse... But in dreams it will somehow eventually come to you.

But one thing for sure, when I got sick with a terrible pain in the chest, everything will come back to me as clear as the day. It's as if with the snap of a finger and it will remind you... It's weird but that seem to happen to me all the time, especially when I'm down with terrible fevers and low blood pressure attacks.

And recently I've been hearing a lot of deaths happening around me. Some due to being sick, some dying in accidents, and people who are dear to me and dear to them dying. What's worse when I read about ghost stories, or watch ghost adventures online and stupidly in the middle of the night, I tend to be so sad and cry over it. Being mysteriously emotional over its history... I wonder why myself sometimes.. Hmm...

However, hopefully writing these all out would keep me reminded all the time. I seem to fail in remembering the sweetest times and people in life.. I hope it's not a sickness...

When it's the time when you feel you need more to life...

At times when I see people getting together while I'm on the lousy side of being in love, I wonder... Will it be possible to fall in love again and feeling happy heal this illness? I have always tried to run and yearn to be loved again.

My love life started when I was just 21. How I met my first man was funny and yet it was once a one sided love. Slowly but surely, being where I have always were in the past has made him take another step to come closer and into my life. Eventually, we got together and a lot of stress came into it when I told my family that I am now in love with someone. It was the biggest mistake to tell the people I trust the most, like my sister, and I am still angry about it till now.

Trying to work it out was also another difficult process, I gave up trusting my family. The place I've always seek for comfort wasn't where I wanted to be. I almost gave up on being together after 1 year but he's been telling me not to give up since it's the two of them, not him and the others.. and half a year later I got dumped quietly. All the while in silence when I've been waiting for him and sending him messages to know how he is, if he's okay.. After half a year, all I'm told with just one word.. I think it's better I find someone else. It broke me down, I gave up on loving him.. I gave up on loving myself...

Another year passed when I've gotten myself into a job I love, and having illustration as my freelance, I've learned many things what my boss has seen, more than I did. I find it funny and yet happy to have a boss who really cares and teaches me on how to look into guys who are more worth chasing after. My mom and I slowly mended together, although I still always find it annoying when she cuts in while people is talking. I always have to tell her off, and point out her weakness all the time... And now, she's the closest and sometimes the dimmest when it comes to telling her some things..

Anyhow, I have gotten over him, and then he came back... Hoping to get back to me. I wonder why did you hurt me the last time? If you had to leave, leave me be... So I had to turn him down with a reason I can't and I don't have those feelings I used to for him anymore. So, that was the last of him.. And he had to leave for his hometown due to his parents. I'm a little down, when he had to go.. I wonder where did his stubbornness to love me for life went? He gave up.. And I moved on..

There are times when I still yearn for him, and I wish I never fell in love at all. But like my boss told me, we are worth if we are honest to our hearts and others. We have our beauty, and someone will find that beauty again, and the more we see, the more we are sure of what we are looking for in someone..

Pray one day, our hearts will heal in time..

OMG... It's been so long since I last posted in my blog...

Work had me on my toes, at the end of my day it would be flat out on my bed. Tired out! Working six days a week, although just 9 hours a day and it sounds dreadful. However, time really really flies when you're having fun and then you find that there isn't much time for everything... Sad...

However, love life has been good and I feel much loved for the first time. My lover boy has been really supportive although he's been very hacked up with his side of the world. He's been extremely busy, busier than me somehow.. I hope he's alright... So, I'm pushing myself to go further and show everyone what I'm capable off. 私が生命に何かをもっと有するのに、ちょうど何かが私が達成したいと思う多くある。 私は私の強さにビットを自慢して見せたいと思う。(即使我更有某事到生活，有正义的某事我想要达到的更多。 我想要炫耀我的力量位.)

Take a little time to lean back and relax, and then everything will come back to you in a short while. It happens when you have too many things in your head. I always had that kind of problem and I end up headaches or at the end of the day.. a bit zombified from work. I was also sick for a horrible four days, and really really sick I was. I had my gastric to react to my stress (and no thanks to the sour and spicy food I've been fed every day at work...) and low blood pressure. What caused my low blood pressure when there isn't any connection between the two?? Hmm....

Now that I get to move around more often after work, although I am always tired off... I always like to travel a little further to get my shopping or just a little sight seeing, and at the same time get my body fueled up with loads of sugar. I've been feeling faint lately, and that's not good... Why? My Japanese dream land Daiso is now in a place closer to me! I don't have to rely on my friends to go all the way which would cost me two buses and a train to get there anymore. Yay! I've bought my all time favourite relaxing component, incense.. They always make my nerves a little more relaxed.

However, there are many more things in life to enjoy. 単純な方法の十分に人生を楽しむために確かめなさい。 それはことができる、またはそれ皆が言うことを行くところに行くことはあなたの幸福のピークである何を得る多くをより必要としない。

それはあなたの友人とあるかどうか限り、非常に家族または家族… それ最もよいのあなたの日の作るためにおよびそれに幸せな終り。常にであることを確かめなさい。 心配の人を取りなさい!
그것은 당신의 친구와 다는 것을 한, 아주 가족 또는 가족… 당신이 그것 최상을 당신의 일의 만들기 위하여 및 그것에게 항상 행복한 결말일 것이라는 점을 확인하십시오. 포획 배려 녀석!
As long as whether it's with your friends, very loved ones or family... Make sure you make it the best of your day and it will always be a happy ending.. Take care guys!