Sunday, January 10, 2010

When Love In Your Heart Overflows...

I wasn't able to sleep and it bugged me even terribly when this stupid poetry forced me to get up from bed to write it all out... I guess it's the Hazelnut coffee that I took for dinner decided to make a pact with my head to kick me out of bed.. Yawn!!

Une interminable histoire d'amour, je n'est jamais rompre votre coeur
(An Endless Love Story, I Shall Never Break Your Heart)

From the first sight I've lain my eyes on yours,
I wonder why it would never fade,
Everywhere I turn, your image will always appear before mine,
May it be in the dark and in the light...

However torturous it may be, I can't make myself run,
Those gentle caresses, the soft kisses I'm addicted to,
Will it be enough?
I don't know but I need it more than the air I breathe...

I let my pride step aside for your hands to hold me closer,
Just a little longer to feel you next to me,
But I have the strange wall between us,
Do I love you? Can I love you? I can't say until you tell me...

You have been real kind to me when I needed comfort,
Your silver wings always stayed in a gentle embrace,
With much kindness they'll never break me,
I long to stay, even if it's just a little while...

Can I not hear your voice again?
Will my voice reach you when I call you?
I long to reach out to hold your hand once more,
Because I can't live without you...

Time flies like petals in the wind, I may disappear along with them,
I swear to sing the last melody from my heart,
To let you know how much you meant to me,
When I disappear, I hope you'll cherish our memories...

But as I move on, I may have another pair of wings to blanket me after yours,
May it be mine or a new found love, I can't tell in time,
However cruel it may slay our hearts with jealousy, I will come back,
When the truth surfaces from our feelings...

As long as it remains between us, I'll cherish this moment,
Keeping it safely within my embrace from the darkest moment of it,
I shall never forget the kindness you have guided me through to be stronger,
Because of you I can sing a new melody...

(After that I decided to have it translated to French just to make it more interesting... Tee hehehehe..)

De la première vue je\ai lain mes yeux sur le vôtre,
je me demande pourquoi il ne serait jamais fade,
partout où je leur tour, votre image apparaîtra toujours avant moi,
qu'il peut être à l'obscurité et à la lumière...

Toutefois tortueuse qu'il peut être, je peux\'t me faire exécuter,
ces caresses, le soft baise I\suis passion, qu'il sera assez?
J'ai don\'t savoir, mais j'ai besoin plus que l'air je respire...

J'ai laissé ma fierté démissionner pour vos mains de me tenir plus étroite,
juste un peu plus de se sentir vous suivant pour moi,
mais j'ai l'étrange mur entre nous,
puis-je vous aime? Puis-je vous aime? Je peux\'t dire tant que vous me dites...

Vous avez été véritable genre à moi quand j'avais besoin confort,
vos ailes d'argent toujours restés dans un doux embrassent,
avec beaucoup bonté qu'ils\«ll jamais rompre moi, j'ai longtemps à rester,
même si elle\'s juste un peu de temps...

Puis-je pas entendu votre voix encore une fois?
Est ce que ma voix à vous joindre quand j'appelle vous?
J'ai longtemps d'atteindre maintenez votre part une fois de plus,
parce que je peux\'t vivre sans vous...

Le temps vole comme pétales dans le vent,
je risque de disparaître avec eux,
je jure de chanter la dernière mélodie de mon coeur,
pour que vous sachiez combien vous signifie pour moi,
quand je disparaissent, j'espère que vous\«ll chérir notre mémoire...

Mais en tant que je propose,
j'ai peut-être une autre paire d'ailes pour recouvrir moi après vôtre,
qu'il peut être mine ou une nouvelle trouvé amour,
je peux\'t dire dans le temps,
toutefois cruel qu'il peut mourir nos coeurs de jalousie, je vais revenir,
quand la vérité surfaces de nos sentiments...

Tant qu'elle reste entre nous, j'ai\«ll chérir ce moment,
de le garder sécuritaire au sein de mon embrasser de la plus sombre,
je n'oublierai jamais la bonté que vous avez m'a guidée par le biais d'être plus forte,
parce que je peut chanter une nouvelle mélodie...

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Tempest_Shadow of all Cards

Here's more to the collections! (rather like too bored of life and have nothing better to do...

Under a certain request, I thought it'd be a nice idea...

And there is also "The moon" in the collection... I tried blending and all, and then making more bright shades to make the whole thing somewhat a little mystical and yet vampire like with the whole light thingy...

While doing this I listened to a few songs that helped me bring out the mood and all... It helps when you are almost running out of ideas how to make the whole thing better ... Lo lalala... (I sound like an idiot here... OMG...)


I felt very unhappy with the first edit of the second tempest card I did, so with much frustration I decided to throw it aside and make a new one. How can I not when a fussy illustrator like me can "tahan" with such a terribly done art work? Solution := Redo!

(Tahan = To endure in Malay... So what I meant in my own words would mean to endure such annoying and pain in the eye terrible work?)

So the only way to make the whole thing better was to change the colour scheme and use pictures I can find for the bg to match the whole theme.

Eventually after much pain of looking for a better picture and the background, with much pencil works (while I download some songs that I miss listening to for so long... XP) I finally came up with this work and I am now so happy I could cry!!!

This is what I came up with with some notes to take care of while I looked at the pictures I chose for the main subject...

Theme : Tarot card 13 = Death = Fire? Something dark... Forest? Dark chocolate...?!!
Looked at Hades from Disney's Hercules = His blue flamed head...?!! (Ufffufufu)
Red + fire + dark theme = Death 13~~
(Yes... My mind was in a mess when I thought of this silly mind messing into a pulp formula... Tension...)

Finally now that the work is done and I have put my brain to rest for the night, I can finally sleep... ZzzZzZzZzzzzz.....

(And before the artist could turn off her computer, she notices the picture she just posted up her blog is a lot more contrasting than her header picture. With a silent grumble, she decides to turn the computer off and head for bed... (Ominous laughter indeed) XP)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Tempest of all cards

I wanted to try out and old assignment, photo montage or photo manipulation.. It's a bit on the sucky side, but what the heck. It's just a try out and maybe I can use this method to apply into other Tempest Cards I might do later...

It was hell of a lot of work, but the outcome is somewhat... Wild...?! It's rather very rich and dreamlike...

I compared to a few fairy tale type of pics, somewhere between glowy and rich, and I think I managed that in some way. What do you think?

Will try to do more and submit.. And this is just the beginning...

This poor picture here is the exact original.. It's dark, it's gloomy, my hair's a mess, the back ground was a horrible mixture of wall and door... and paper in the corner of the pic?! So after much photo mangling and pasting, more surgery to the face and stuff, the picture becomes like the above!

So, what do you think?

Sunday, January 3, 2010

千単語、千の感情 (A thousand words, a thousand emotions...)

When I have the time to write, I will always be writing instead of drawing, and that's when I will kick myself to draw... especially when I so need to finish my assignments. Anyhow, I dunno if it would be nice to have lots of written stuff to be posted here. (because I have not much pics+illustrations to be posted online...)

These were emotionally written when I was really down and seeking for a new life. Gotten most of my ideas when I was really emotionally moved from songs, walks of life, searing new memories as old ones either fade away or remains.. Yes, those were the times I will always remember in such a way I can't express.

So, writing is good!

Everlast

The scene we once were two,
The evergreen scenery that will always make me cry,
Is this where it has seared into my memory,
To never let you go?

We met, laughed, cried and held on fast,
Like we were always meant to be,
Somewhere deep inside it is always warm,
The magic that made forever summer in the flow of time.

Chrono crossed in a breath,
The pain when memories are so sweet,
The silent tears I wonder why,
The cold presence of you were never whole in me.

Going along in time, I have never forgotten,
Linked to my soul and memory,
The sight I'm only one and teary,
I wish you could dry my tears.

Turning back to the moment when you are here with me,
Is only like a dream, I wish it came true,
To hear you call my name once again,
I need you far too much, I longed to feel your touch...

In the dream, you are so dear to me,
I wish I could see you again, I wish it never ends,
But when you turn your back on me,
I can't find the words to say my last goodbye.

But now, I only have memories of you,
All coloured in my heart, all warm and quite,
Your love to me all innocent, beautiful and pure,
You've always been so dear to me...


Voice of Mist

In the darkness, black is all I face,
However opened my eyes are, I see darkness,
Only touch and smell whenever you are around,
And your voice ever so clear to my heart.

However the darkness chokes, I hear your voice,
Like the faint drop of water hitting the surface, I hear you,
So, please don't stop calling my name,
Because I want to hear your voice all the time.

You've told me many things that I shan't forget,
You've sang songs that cheers me on and on,
You've never made my days lonely neither depressing,
You've always made me the happiest in my brightest.

Like the pouring rain, it tells me many stories,
Where has it gone before it came to pour its stories,
I like the rain, always washing away the bitter pain in my heart,
I like the rain, as how I see it in you.

Your warm hands and long fingers on my face,
Your warm breath whenever you are near to speak,
Even your smell of cheddar, sandal wood and lavender,
These reminds me of you whenever you are here with me.

Through the darkness, I can only see you whenever we touch,
You have shown me the many faces of you through your voice,
I don't feel that I am blind and hopeless,
Because you have taught me how to see colours through the darkness.

If ever darkness holds me within, I want to hold your hand,
Please bring me through to the real colours of life,
The emotions you've moved me with your voice through the mist,
May it be you and you alone, as long as I breathe...

Somewhere Here

Somewhere here close to me,
I feel you breathing,
Somewhere here closer to me,
I feel your warm heart beats,
It is somewhere here I feel your comfort...

Somewhere there I see you in front of me,
No matter where I am you'll be there,
Somewhere here I'll wait for you,
I'll be waiting till the story ends...

Time and space opens the distance between us,
Emotions and absence is pain in my heart,
But somewhere here is where I belong,
Somewhere you'll return to me,
Somewhere I will remain waiting...

Forever here with you is where I wanna be,
Wanna remain close to you where it will always be warm,
Wanna be there with you where I need you the most,
Wanna be there where you'll always need me,
I want to be here where you'll always hold me...

That somewhere I'd rather belong,
That someplace that will always be waiting for me,
Where I want to be within your embrace of white wings,
Where I want to feel your warm kindness and love...

Somewhere here, you'll always call my name,
Somewhere here... I'll always love you.

Sanctuary

Whenever a song is sang, there's you to weave them,
As I listen and let my mind drift with ecstasy, I have grown with your kindness,
Let alone those eyes those eyes that never told me lies,
I will one day die with the love and kindness you've shown me,
Returning to the sanctuary cradling me warmly.

When I first embraced, it was you withing me,
When I last embraced, it was your warmth that lingers within me,
That warmth I never fail to recognize through the dark never left me,
For it is where I belonged,
The place that I call my Sanctuary.

No matter how vast and many things surrounding me,
Wether it's gold or silver, it'll never be the same,
The warmth and kindness is never the same and alive,
For the greed I hold is only to one and one alone,
That one treasure holding me through time.

Thus when I shall disappear, forgotten that I ever existed,
Erasing all the traces I left behind, the essence of my very existence,
The memory we have built together will also die along like a mist,
Disappearing when a new day comes along with heaven's light,
Let you go on without a memory of me.

Whenever I think of you though I am no longer here,
Existence denied by the flow of time,
I will think of you and cradle our memory within my breast,
Reminding me every second that never seems to fly,
A sanctuary that will always be with me in my memory.

Be My Last

Wishes, dreams and hopes weaved within a song,
Where the wind would take them in a whisper till it's heard...
Will they ever be heard?
Who will come and sing the same song?

When you will find me,
I will be waiting here for you,
Wondering... will you come to me?
I want to know for the hope that seems so impossible...

The dreams I yet to share are the sweetest,
The songs I yet to sing are the rarest,
The prayers I yet to weave from the heart are the purest,
The memories I yet to envelope are the dearest...

Hoping for the prince who will come,
Shattering the agony hardened within,
Having the slow enveloping pain from deepening its wounds,
Slipping through the brink of emptiness within to be with me...

When you come and I see that pair of the kindest wings,
I know, you have come to save me,
When you come with me within your embrace,
I want to be your only one...

I hope I would be your first, your only one,
I hope you will be my last...


Silvery Touch

Listening to the voice in hums of a song,
It was like the angel was singing for me,
The words weaved to make a meaning so strong and long,
It meant so much whenever heard...

Falling petals like feathers from the angel's wings,
Gently rocking in the whispers as it touches the floor beneath,
I feel like within the embrace as it sings the song I love,
Only for me, the most treasured gift...

'Koe' belong to the the only one I listen to,
'Anata' was the only one who sees through me,
'Yume' were stories 'hito' weaved when I closed my eyes,
'Demo, anata no yume ha' I turn to when I'm lost...

It was a time I thrive through a stream very foreign to me,
Hoping that my words will never be heard by anyone,
Yet it will always reach me before I could disappear,
The love that will never let me go into a battle alone...

No matter how I have put myself into awakenings,
There was always something pulling me down,
It was what makes me stronger when the worst falls,
When it cannot be mended with the turn of time...

All I have gone through changes what I am made of,
Wearing the mask that never puts me alive on the stage,
No matter what mask I wear, there is only one,
The old one that will always fit me...

Somehow, the mask I wear has fallen and worn,
Going through severe time and suffering I never meant to cause,
It was never wanted to be used with the other masks,
No matter how I mend and polish it...

I am myself, I know, I am trying to mend and heal,
From the times of bruises and wounds I let my innocence through,
I never wanted any other wings than my own to fly,
Somehow, it was there when I was taken to touch the cerulean skies,

From the dream my eyes sees through the transparent illusion,
Awakening to the true colours and flavour of life,
There was nothing as pleasant yet delicious at first sight,
But who am I to share these appetizing taste of life?

The silvery touch is all that holds within my grasp,
The hands that will always be there when I need the most,
The silvery wings that came with it,
The illusion I always found embedded within the love I will always cherish...

And then I found more shots of myself on stage while I was updating this blog... More pics from CF 2009... Nice but aiyo... T__T
I can't look at myself!!

Yeaps, this is a better photo of me on stage while I was singing... And I was really trying not to shiver in my voice so I sounded very emotional... Darn naggit! Thanks to my friend who gave me this link I'm pretty happy that I found more of me. Tee hee!!



Let the flirting begin!! I hope your nose won't bleed... He loves it so much...

A new year, a new day...














Hello everyone!! This is the first time I am putting myself in a blog so I hope that everyone will be able to enjoy what I can share with you. I may not be able to post much (please forgive me!!!!) but I hope all that I post will be enjoyab
le!!!

These illustrations here were one of my works when I was still in college, and back then I was so gungho into the finishing I forgot ablout my health... Oops, sorry. At the end result, the sweat and blood were all paid off... So glad...

Feel free to view more... Click here!

~~COMIC FIESTA 2009~~

Comic Fiesta 2009 was a hit and I enjoyed the whole thing very very much. For the first time I went on a competition because I felt I am finally ready to compete, but unfortunately I lost in the first battle. I guess I wasn't ready enough to be on stage. Hey! This is the beginning so keep trying and work harder! And work harder I will!!!
Here is a few shots I found myself online. No doubt it's a bit dark due to the not so good lighting in the hall, I am pretty satisfied when they mention how good it was. (not to complement myself but I've read a few who nice comments they had about me on stage. Thanks a bunch on the comment and I will work harder to present myself!!)

This is when I was singing without a music bg and I was pretty embarrassed at first.
  1. I was cold on stage and so to calm my nerves I sang a very emotional song to suite the state I was in and to hide my nervousness at the same time. I was really embarrassed!!!
  2. I had a million pair of eyes on me, and thanks to my new found friend who also competed on stage comforted and warmed me up before the competition started. So nice! I got many people jealous at the same time :p I really had no idea!
  3. When it came to the time I helped out one of my friends on stage as prop people (sorry!!! I stated this very wrongly... A million apology!!) I made some of the competitor wide eyed and I became redder than a tomato. Thanks to the Bleach competitor on the side actually gave me some nice praises that I was really sexy and seductive on stage. Wuaa!!!


This is the Rikku cosplayer I met on the first day and she was so nice! She even invited me to join her group cosplayer. I really felt honored because she gave me some real nice encouragement to cosplay with her in a group. When we were talking to each other, no one stopped taking pictures of us but the I felt really happy about it. Thus the excitement brews...

When I was browsing through Youtube some time back to see the videos they shot on stage, I found the few where I became a sexy seductress on stage. I became super red as I watched on and on!

Here are a few blogs that I felt that they were really nice as well (No doubt I don't really know who they really are but thanks for the pix and post!)

http://existence-proof.blogspot.com/2009/12/comic-fiesta-2009.html
http://shadowxajin.blogspot.com/2009/12/comic-fiesta-2009-competitors.html

Some time back I did this for a client of mine using only Adobe Illustrator CS3 and shits! I didn't expect my works to be so enjoyed by my client. The ideas with sweat and blood I poured into the works really paid off.
My client is a Mac user and he wanted me to create a battery icon for him and shot animate the picture from 100% to 0% flat. It was kind of difficult at first when you're not so sure what kind of file format you'll need to use, and knowing pixels so well they won't stay put when you layer it over to animate the whole thing together!!! The madness of using programs and saving them into proper formats for its proper usage. Ugh... Pain.. pain...

So, what do you think? This is how much I did and slicing it all wasn't very easy. I had to adjust each and every pic so that it'll stay put in its frame and using a diff save file format. Yes, saving each and every file in its respective format can help a lot, trust me! I do this all the time in my entire life in college from first hand experience... Voila! I also did my header for this blog... Well, I do love french phrases that makes me more mysterious in a way. Even my boss from my work place helped me out a lot when it came to lovely lovely phrases with good meanings. (But I lost it and shit! She's so going to kill me when she finds out... Oh crap...) Since I was thinking of some names for some good titles while enjoying my music collection, I made these few headers. At first it started off with only one, and then I made. Enjoyed myself there... until my prog hung. Using too much memory can be a pain sometimes...

I got pretty gungho about this work...


Another one of my favorite portraits using airbrush and pastel pencils

This is only with markers, believe?



I love FF VIII



Digitally drawn with only Photoshop CS3
Original...


And this is done with acrylic paint...


And this is me during my college days, all thin and too light everyone loved carrying me around, even one of them who's a girl! She's a real good friend who really accompanied me during the event because I was pretty lost while lurking around the hall alone...






I used this uniform for a skit in college during a certain presentation. Wow, the amount of stalking photographers after that...

My plans for the next cosplay would be a a pairing... That will mean I will need lots of guts to do it because we plan to compete.. Gulp!! If I still stick with me recent Lenne costume and get the Yuna songstress' hair, extension, microphone (not to forget the shoe too!! I almost trip in my current one!!!) I'll try to do this...



Oh well... Hopefully I can update more on the gallery and stuff. Check me up and do drop me a reply if you'd like! Tata! I'm sorry this is very short too... X(